Our families are like unique cultures. Each culture has its own way of communicating, arguing, eating, sharing, and showing affection. Most cultures remain intact by passing along their nuances, habits, and sayings for hundreds of years, with only slight variations occurring within each generation. The same is true for families.
When two people get married, it can be like a clash of cultures. Each person brings to the relationship their own unique way of communicating and dealing with conflict. As the infatuation stage wears off in most relationships, awareness of those differences become more apparent. This is around the time when couples start asking questions like:
* Why won't you talk to me?
* Why do you treat me that way?
* Why do you shut down like that?
* Why won't you do the things I asked you to do?
* What's wrong with us?
No matter how hard we try to be different from our families (mainly our parents), we will repeat many of their behaviors throughout our marriage. It is important for couples to discuss with each other how their families behave in different circumstances, and explore reasons why. Couples then need to talk about how they would like to handle things in their own relationship. This will most likely involve a lot of compromise and will be something that couples will work on throughout their marriage.
Part of having a meaningful and enjoyable marriage is having an awareness of each other's family culture. From there, couples can develop their very own unique way of communicating that incorporates positive aspects from both families, and hopefully filters out unwanted patterns.
source => http://www.familyresource.com/relationships/communication/different-cultures
Showing posts with label unique cultures. Show all posts
Showing posts with label unique cultures. Show all posts
12/12/08
Participant Observation
Participant observation in a Tibetan Buddhist monastery
Anthropologists have discovered that the best way to really get to know another society and its culture is to live in it as an active participant rather than simply an observer. This is called participant observation . By physically and emotionally participating in the social interaction of the host society, it is possible to become accepted as a member. In practice this requires learning their language and establishing close friendship ties. It also usually involves living within the community as a member, eating what they eat, and taking part in normal family activities with them. This can be a physical hardship and emotionally stressful, particularly when the host society is in a rural area of an underdeveloped nation. Sanitation may be poor or non-existent, the diet may be unsatisfying, and there may be minimal privacy for personal hygiene and your sex life. However, the trust and familiarity that can result from participant-observation reduces the cultural barriers and allows anthropologists to understand the culture of the host society they are studying.
It is rarely possible to grasp much of another culture during a short visit. Anthropologists have learned that long-term residence lasting years is necessary to see the range of cultural behavior. If a researcher lives in a small community for only a few months and no one gets married, gives birth, or dies during that time, it is unlikely that the culturally defined ways of dealing with these situations will be observed and understood. Likewise, a short-term visitor is not likely to learn about the intricate details of religious beliefs or even the complex culturally defined patterns of male-female relationships and parent-child interaction.
Anthropologists have discovered that the best way to really get to know another society and its culture is to live in it as an active participant rather than simply an observer. This is called participant observation . By physically and emotionally participating in the social interaction of the host society, it is possible to become accepted as a member. In practice this requires learning their language and establishing close friendship ties. It also usually involves living within the community as a member, eating what they eat, and taking part in normal family activities with them. This can be a physical hardship and emotionally stressful, particularly when the host society is in a rural area of an underdeveloped nation. Sanitation may be poor or non-existent, the diet may be unsatisfying, and there may be minimal privacy for personal hygiene and your sex life. However, the trust and familiarity that can result from participant-observation reduces the cultural barriers and allows anthropologists to understand the culture of the host society they are studying.
It is rarely possible to grasp much of another culture during a short visit. Anthropologists have learned that long-term residence lasting years is necessary to see the range of cultural behavior. If a researcher lives in a small community for only a few months and no one gets married, gives birth, or dies during that time, it is unlikely that the culturally defined ways of dealing with these situations will be observed and understood. Likewise, a short-term visitor is not likely to learn about the intricate details of religious beliefs or even the complex culturally defined patterns of male-female relationships and parent-child interaction.
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